Later that night, I was sorting printed photos for my "A Week In The Life" project *which by then, hadn't finished yet and the deadline was that very weekend!* when the truth hit me again.
I looked around. I was on my bed, spreading photos all over. I don't have any table or desk sufficient for working, so my bed is my work desk. I used old ragged envelopes to store my photos. I didn’t have any scrapbooking supplies, so the night before I’d been cutting papers from magazine, checking out my pattern tissues I had left from food photography sessions, and trying to locate my old veils to use as fabrics. I had to empty my pocket just to attend class or buy few tools or print the photos. My camera lens was borrowed from a good friend. I had this project on the tip of my nose and I didn’t even have any papers. I hadn’t figured out how do I go about getting it done since time and budget were not even tight anymore, they were strangling.
Yet there I was. On my messy bed. Giggling at my ugly envelopes. Felt the butterfly in my stomach seeing my photos that only God knows how on earth I could turn into a scrapbook. Laughing at the picture of me in my head doing the scrapbook on this already hell-messy bed. Laughing at my guts in taking the challenge while I wasn't equipped with anything properly. Laughing at the idea of covering the whole bed with photos and papers. Gleefully throwing the question, where do I sleep tonight? :D
Then I remember the afternoon that day. After my class was over, I drove to Matraman to see my girl friends because I missed them so much. I drove all the way from Bintaro to Matraman and was so ecstatic to see them, we spent the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing over teas and cookies. I went home feeling so contented. So blessed and lucky.
Back on my messy bed all covered with photos and ugly ragged envelopes, now I understand what my friend was trying to tell me. And the truth was ringing through my ears.
I have so little, yet am so happy.
I have so few, yet feel like I have the whole world.
I gave the very best of myself to the very best things.
I let unimportant things go and embrace things that quietly sustain me and bring me joy.
My life is not an easy one, let alone glamorous.
But it is one that is interesting, filled with joy, peace and harmony.
One where silliness is welcome and laughter is frequent companion.
Where enthusiasm is contagious and passion is naturally intact.
One where worries are few. Where long meaningful conversations are many.
Yes, oh so many.
(partly adapted from Brave Girls Club)